I Apologize for Being Black
Oscar Brown Jr.: "I wanted to present a picture of black culture to anyone who could hear it."
Oscar Brown Jr. never retired. He began performing in 1941 at the age of 15 in Chicago, Illinois where he was born and raised. He worked tirelessly for art and social justice until his death in 2005. Brown was a civil rights activist, a writer, a singer and much more. Many contend that he did not receive the recognition he deserved during his lifetime and he has still not been properly honored now, years after his death.
I came across two clips of him performing as I was browsing through HBO’s Def Poetry Jam on YouTube. His words are particularily poignant today as heated debates about race continue to simmer in the United States while commentators attempt to suppress or bypass the difficult realities at their core by using ridiculous phrases like “post-racial.”
Yes, a close majority of voters in the United States elected an African-American president, but the White House Barack Hussein Obama now lives in was built with the blood, sweat and tears of African slaves. Meanwhile, Obama continues to also be accused of not being an American citizen by racist hatemongers who are actually awarded with air-time on prominent mainstream news outlets. How does one reconcile these opposing realities? Where is the “post” in a society like this where so much time is spent on the “racial?”
Brown’s recital of “I Apologize” and “Children of Children” can be watched below. His words have been reprinted under each clip. Unlike the majority of the performers who the masses honor today, all of Brown’s work provides food for thought.
I Apologize
I apologize for being black
For all I am plus all I lack
Please sir, please m’am
Give me some slack
‘Cause I apologize
I apologize for being poor
For being sick and tired and sore
Since I ain’t slick
Don’t know the score
I do apologize
I apologize because I bear
Resemblance most black people share
Thick lips, flat nose, and nappy hair
Yes I apologize
I apologize for how I look
For all of the lows and blows I took
On those Lord knows I’d close the book
As I apologize
I apologize for all I gave
For letting you make me yo’ slave
And going to my early grave
Yes I apologize
I apologize for being caught
For being sold, for being bought
For being told I count for naught
Yeah I apologize
I apologize for all I’ve done
For all my toil out in the sun
Don’t want to spoil your righteous fun
So I apologize
I apologize and curse my kind
For being fooled, for being blind
For being ruled, and in your bind
Yes I apologize
I apologize and curse my feet
For being slow, for being late
Because I know it’s me you hate
Why not apologize
I apologize and tip my hat
‘Cause you so rich and free and fat
Son of a bitch, that’s where it’s at
And I apologize
Children of Children
The children of children by the time they’re half grown have habits like rabbits and young of their own
The children of children from their mamas’ laps hop down to the ground to be taken in traps
The children of children trapped by dark skins to stay in and play in a game no one wins
The children of children while still young and sweet are all damned and programmed for future defeat
The children of children are trapped by adults who fail them then jail them to hide the results
The children of children unable to cope with systems that twist them and rob them of hope
The children of children of sin and ashamed keep pairing and bearing and who do you blame
The children of children cry out every day – they beg you for rescue and what do you say?
My take: Whereas OBJ challenged racism forcefully with his artistry, Prez. Obama bends over backwards to avoid it. And won the presidency by convincing white folks that he (and the nation) was somehow above race. kzs
kwame
September 13, 2009 at 4:28 am
I’m a big fan of OBJ which led me to create an accompanying tribute show to him and record an accompanying CD of his material, which CD won the 2008 Bistro/BMI Award. His daughters in Chicago, Maggie Brown & Africa Brown, both sing his material as well. He is sorely missed in today’s political fray. I would have loved to hear his voice speaking out.
Linda
http://www.lindakosut.com
“Long As You’re Living – the songs & poetry of Oscar Brown Jr.” – http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/kosut2
lindakosut
September 13, 2009 at 4:46 am
Apart from its sinuous sound and lovely rhythm, Brown says ugly things using pretty words. Apart from his obvious talent, he hits the listener between the eyes.
Obama is disappointing me, but perhaps after Bush II my hopes were unreasonably high. After all, he hasn’t robbed a liquor store.
Unindicted Co-Conspirator
September 13, 2009 at 11:15 pm
Sadly, I am in total agreement with you. About both Oscar and Barack. On one hand, Oscar had both the advantage and disadvantage of growing up black in Chicago in the late 20′s, early 30′s. (he was born in ’26). On the other hand, Barack, too, had his advantages and disadvantages of growing up in Hawaii and Indonesia, but being black and white. I want him to speak as firmly as Oscar. And I’m a white Jewish girl from the Bronx.
I want our politicians, and particularly our President, to stand up and say, “no more of this crap”. I’m afraid he can’t though – I’m afraid of what will happen to him if he does. And perhaps, he is smart enough to know that possibility is real.
There is a piece that Oscar performed and wrote – voice and drum, it’s called “Muffled Drums”
Before I knew the date of the piece, I thought he wrote it after the assassination of Marin Luther King. But when I found out the year it was written, 1965 (three years earlier than either MLK’s or Bobby Kennedy’s assassinations), and in conversations with his daughter, Maggie Brown, I discovered it was written about the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. It was then that I realized the depth of Oscar’s pain. He knew that JFK was a sea change. And the pain his death brought to him and to our culture.
I love this piece and I have performed it many times. However, I will no longer do it for fear that the crazies out there will make it real once more.
Here are the lyrics to that piece – read them with a ‘listen’ for the drums beating in the background or listen to me singing it … http://www.lindakosut.com/music-72.html
Words & Music: Oscar Brown Jr., 1965
To the pound of muffled drums
Behold, a fallen chieftain comes
Caissons drawn by steeds snow white
But to his eye now all is night
Cannon boom, a grand salute
But to his ear their mouths are mute
And his mind can give no thought
To grave events the day has brought.
To the pound of muffled drums
And flanked by warriors, here he comes
Past the marble citadels
Wherein our sovereign power dwells
Let the governments of men
And every single citizen
Witness what our native hate
Today has cost our nation state.
To the pound of crepe draped drums
Behold, the man and as he comes
Pray the preacher and the priest
Will draw this parallel at least
That like Jesus he has died
And both of them were crucified
Jesus’ cross on Calvary’s height
The other on a rifle sight.
To the pound of muffled drums
Behold the fallen chieftain comes
Genius blasted into clay
It’s dust we now must cart away
Let a cry that hate is hell
Arise above the bigots yell
Let that be one lesson learned
From this great dust to dust returned.
lindakosut
September 14, 2009 at 5:08 am
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